Today I'm happy. There's no easier way to describe it. My thoughts are more collected, I can think of things to come, and memories to be made. I smile more today, I laugh to myself at times, it's a good day.
To say the last few weeks have been a bit rough is sort of an understatement, but I've mentioned before that, "that's life". The things that are worth fighting for are the things I want in life. Now I have one of those things. Sometimes you go through life wishing you had something, just one thing and when you finally have it you gain something else. Fear. A fear of losing the one thing you've wanted for so long. Today that fear is gone. Today I'm happy.
One of the great things about getting something you've tried so hard for is the feeling that you can accomplish a lot in life. Not only am I happy, I am now optomistic, even more so than before. I've never been one to doubt myself much, but this makes me even more confident in the possiblities of the future. The feeling you can do anything is a great feeling, even if it is an arrogant feeling. We all have to put ourselves above other things every once in a while, only then can we see far ahead. Only when we can put other things aside can we see our futures and goals clearly.
Then there's the feeling of doing all of this and not being alone. You can do a lot alone, you should do a lot alone. But when you've accomplished many things in your life alone, it feels good to be able to share your accomplishments with someone.
It's easy to get ahead of oneself when you're happy. But that feels good also. Dreams are versions of a reality that can be. Why not make them so?
Today I'm happy. Thank you.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Man I should have been at school almost 4 hours ago. This is what happens when you've only had about 2 hours of sleep in the last day and then you decide to get drunk off your ass at about 1 in the morning. I have no idea what time I stopped drinking last night, er I should say this morning. I drove home later this morning but I doubt that was a good idea, seeing as I can't remember much of that either.
The point of this post is that blogs are the devil, but the devils hand feels warm when everything else seems so cold at times. I write shit on here sometimes that I know I probably shouldn't. As I'm writing I think "what the fuck are you doing man?", "why are you writing this shit down so all can read". But the thing is that this blog has become a sort of pressure release valve for me. I get to the point where I could probably explode and I find that there's no one around to talk to at the moment. That and if you know me, you probably know I like to keep shit like this to myself. I dislike "sharing" my "feelings". So seeing as there's no one around and even if there was I'd probably not say anything, I'm glad I can write shit down. I can't think of a name for this post, it could be a million different things flying through my mind right now, I'll leave it blank. The beginning of the end is something I don't want to start right now, but the sooner this trip is over the better. Justin if you read this. . . . alcohol is the devil too!!!
Man I wish I was still drunk. Good times. Here's a toast to friends and the reasons we drink!!! (whatever those reasons may be)
The point of this post is that blogs are the devil, but the devils hand feels warm when everything else seems so cold at times. I write shit on here sometimes that I know I probably shouldn't. As I'm writing I think "what the fuck are you doing man?", "why are you writing this shit down so all can read". But the thing is that this blog has become a sort of pressure release valve for me. I get to the point where I could probably explode and I find that there's no one around to talk to at the moment. That and if you know me, you probably know I like to keep shit like this to myself. I dislike "sharing" my "feelings". So seeing as there's no one around and even if there was I'd probably not say anything, I'm glad I can write shit down. I can't think of a name for this post, it could be a million different things flying through my mind right now, I'll leave it blank. The beginning of the end is something I don't want to start right now, but the sooner this trip is over the better. Justin if you read this. . . . alcohol is the devil too!!!
Man I wish I was still drunk. Good times. Here's a toast to friends and the reasons we drink!!! (whatever those reasons may be)
Saturday, June 03, 2006
A Ride
Today I took a hundred mile ride to nowhere and back. It was great. This solitude I love. I love it because I choose it. As I ride I think, I enjoy, I see. It's amazing. I will always own a motorcycle. I saw the sky change from a bright blue, to a golden yellow, to a purple, and finally a dark blue, it made me happy. Life still goes on. Whatever happens, happens.
This helped too.
This helped too.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Cigars, Music & Stars
Cigars, Music & Stars.
Sometimes I love being alone..... Sometimes. I sit smoke a cigar listen to music and watch the stars in the sky.
When my good friend was in Iraq I would sit and smoke a cigar listening to music and I'd look up at the stars. I'd think that even though I haven't heard from him in while if at any point he was looking up at night he'd see the same thing. It was not so good times. It's good to say he's back, safe, and now he has a new baby girl, Noemi. If you could choose your family he would be it.
Today I sat smoked a cigar listened to music and looked up. I saw the same stars but tonight I hoped others saw them. Things happen in life that turn everything sideways. You try to straighten out and when you think you're set, you realize it's still sideways.
Trying to write what you feel is easier said than done when your mind is in a million different places. But writing does help get some of the crap out. It clears it up a bit. Unfortunately you don't feel everything with your mind. In that case what do you do? I can't write that, I don't know how to think it.
This did help.
Sometimes I love being alone..... Sometimes. I sit smoke a cigar listen to music and watch the stars in the sky.
When my good friend was in Iraq I would sit and smoke a cigar listening to music and I'd look up at the stars. I'd think that even though I haven't heard from him in while if at any point he was looking up at night he'd see the same thing. It was not so good times. It's good to say he's back, safe, and now he has a new baby girl, Noemi. If you could choose your family he would be it.
Today I sat smoked a cigar listened to music and looked up. I saw the same stars but tonight I hoped others saw them. Things happen in life that turn everything sideways. You try to straighten out and when you think you're set, you realize it's still sideways.
Trying to write what you feel is easier said than done when your mind is in a million different places. But writing does help get some of the crap out. It clears it up a bit. Unfortunately you don't feel everything with your mind. In that case what do you do? I can't write that, I don't know how to think it.
This did help.
Friday, May 19, 2006
An Old Friend Revisited
Man it's been a long ass time since I wrote a blog (that one on the 10th of this month didn't count). I've been writing all of my blogs on "Myspace" lately. As a matter of fact I'll probably post about this blog on there also. Oh by the way, by an "old friend" I mean this site. This is, the original "blogspot" for me. My first post was here and hopefully my last post (whenever that may be) will be here. I like this site. It's simple and to the point. I don't feel I have to leave all of my "friends" a comment. If you haven't noticed yet, this post is going to more of a "rant" of different things that have been goings on since I last posted anything anywhere. And as a caution there will probably be a lot of "quotation" marks, I have a bad habit of doing that. Sorry.
So where did we leave off? Oh yeah the SHO. Well that car was nicely put back together by my brother and myself and it never caught fire (justin), thank goodness. Since that fiasco though I have added some things to it (read: threw away hard earned cash into the money pit that is my car!), things that I probably shouldn't have done. Oh well. I added a new suspension to the car which makes it handle a lot better when I speed through turns! Bad part was that one of the struts (it's a shock absorber sort of for those wondering what a strut is) was diffective from the manufacturer. Good thing is they're replacing it. Well seing as a had a car that was running and really I had no money to spend, and being the genius that I am, I decided to spend more money and take it apart!!! I mean seriously!!!! Sometimes I think I just need to be smacked around a bit and made to come back to reality!!! So now just over 300 bucks later the car has been sitting at my school for about a week in pieces. Why you ask? Well I thought to myself, "summers just around the corner and man would some A/C be nice". Problem is on a 16 year old car some things are practically welded together that shouldn't be, and after struggling for 2 days trying to remove an A/C hose without any luck, I came to my senses (with the help of one of my teachers). I'm returning the parts that I purchased and I'm going to half ass the A/C job on the car. It should work. For how long? That's another story. So hopefully by next week I'll have the SHO up and running and hopefully I'll leave it put together for a while.
I think the real reason I've had no problem leaving the car in pieces for the time being and the same reason I should have posted something a while ago, is my new Bike. That's right buddies, I got me a new bike!! It's a 2006 Harley-Davidson Street Bob, incase any of you were wondering. I've been meaning to post something regarding my bike for a while now, but I really wanted to include a picture of it (oh well), maybe next time. For those of you whom I haven't expressed this to, I love riding my bike, and I'm very happy that I have another one. The sales guy at the dealer made me realize that I'm a lucky guy. "Most people work their whole lives for this day" he said. He's right. But I also think it's choices ones make. Some people my age would rather have a nice car, but not me, I love my bike. Albeit I'm a little more paranoid now of where I leave it, and how I leave it (I carry a 20lb chain with me most places i go). Incase you don't know, my previous Harley, which I loved was stolen. Ah material things, no matter how much we say they don't matter, we lie to ourselves just that much. Not too much, but it does sting a bit.
As a side note, the coffee that I'm drinking sucks. It's been a while since I've made my own coffee. I spoiled myself with Starbucks.
Even though that was a side note it kind of leads to my next topic. And if you're still reading I'm impressed I would have probably stopped a while ago. So the topic at hand, Dinero. Money. A friend touched on this subject in his own Blog. It's hard man, when you don't have enough of it. I mean there's a difference between wanting a lot and having enough. After about 4 or 5 years of moving up as far as work is concerned, this year is the first year I've had to deal with having a lot less of it. Actually I'm probably at a point where I don't have enough. It's just kicking in now though. It took 6 months since I left my last job, but yup, it's hear again, the great feeling of being poor. The one good thing about being poor is that you appreciate everything a lot more, and as far as I'm concerned being poor made me the person that I am today. So to be able to revist this time in my life (hopefully it's a short visit) is kind of good, sobering I'd say. Sometimes we all need a good kick in the head to remind us of what our original views of life were. My head is starting to hurt from the kicking though! I think it's time to get back on track. To all my poor friends out there, all it takes is you. Believe in yourself, make the hard choices, sacrifice, you'll be alright, I know I will.
If you're still here reading this. There's a million things floating around in my head (maybe some of the kicking jarred it loose), but I can't keep my eyes open much longer, regardless of all the bad coffee I drink. I'll post more often now I hope. And if no one reads this at least it gives me something to do. Take care and I'll be back to speak more of what's in my brain.
So where did we leave off? Oh yeah the SHO. Well that car was nicely put back together by my brother and myself and it never caught fire (justin), thank goodness. Since that fiasco though I have added some things to it (read: threw away hard earned cash into the money pit that is my car!), things that I probably shouldn't have done. Oh well. I added a new suspension to the car which makes it handle a lot better when I speed through turns! Bad part was that one of the struts (it's a shock absorber sort of for those wondering what a strut is) was diffective from the manufacturer. Good thing is they're replacing it. Well seing as a had a car that was running and really I had no money to spend, and being the genius that I am, I decided to spend more money and take it apart!!! I mean seriously!!!! Sometimes I think I just need to be smacked around a bit and made to come back to reality!!! So now just over 300 bucks later the car has been sitting at my school for about a week in pieces. Why you ask? Well I thought to myself, "summers just around the corner and man would some A/C be nice". Problem is on a 16 year old car some things are practically welded together that shouldn't be, and after struggling for 2 days trying to remove an A/C hose without any luck, I came to my senses (with the help of one of my teachers). I'm returning the parts that I purchased and I'm going to half ass the A/C job on the car. It should work. For how long? That's another story. So hopefully by next week I'll have the SHO up and running and hopefully I'll leave it put together for a while.
I think the real reason I've had no problem leaving the car in pieces for the time being and the same reason I should have posted something a while ago, is my new Bike. That's right buddies, I got me a new bike!! It's a 2006 Harley-Davidson Street Bob, incase any of you were wondering. I've been meaning to post something regarding my bike for a while now, but I really wanted to include a picture of it (oh well), maybe next time. For those of you whom I haven't expressed this to, I love riding my bike, and I'm very happy that I have another one. The sales guy at the dealer made me realize that I'm a lucky guy. "Most people work their whole lives for this day" he said. He's right. But I also think it's choices ones make. Some people my age would rather have a nice car, but not me, I love my bike. Albeit I'm a little more paranoid now of where I leave it, and how I leave it (I carry a 20lb chain with me most places i go). Incase you don't know, my previous Harley, which I loved was stolen. Ah material things, no matter how much we say they don't matter, we lie to ourselves just that much. Not too much, but it does sting a bit.
As a side note, the coffee that I'm drinking sucks. It's been a while since I've made my own coffee. I spoiled myself with Starbucks.
Even though that was a side note it kind of leads to my next topic. And if you're still reading I'm impressed I would have probably stopped a while ago. So the topic at hand, Dinero. Money. A friend touched on this subject in his own Blog. It's hard man, when you don't have enough of it. I mean there's a difference between wanting a lot and having enough. After about 4 or 5 years of moving up as far as work is concerned, this year is the first year I've had to deal with having a lot less of it. Actually I'm probably at a point where I don't have enough. It's just kicking in now though. It took 6 months since I left my last job, but yup, it's hear again, the great feeling of being poor. The one good thing about being poor is that you appreciate everything a lot more, and as far as I'm concerned being poor made me the person that I am today. So to be able to revist this time in my life (hopefully it's a short visit) is kind of good, sobering I'd say. Sometimes we all need a good kick in the head to remind us of what our original views of life were. My head is starting to hurt from the kicking though! I think it's time to get back on track. To all my poor friends out there, all it takes is you. Believe in yourself, make the hard choices, sacrifice, you'll be alright, I know I will.
If you're still here reading this. There's a million things floating around in my head (maybe some of the kicking jarred it loose), but I can't keep my eyes open much longer, regardless of all the bad coffee I drink. I'll post more often now I hope. And if no one reads this at least it gives me something to do. Take care and I'll be back to speak more of what's in my brain.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
A Question
Who even still reads this? The last time I posted anything here was in February. I actually thought it would have been deleted by now. Wierd.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Check it Out
If you read this (Justin), check out my "my space" Blog. It's an entry that I'm actually quite proud of. The one titled "what a day".
My "my space" site is www.myspace.com/pablomc
Check it out It's tight.
My "my space" site is www.myspace.com/pablomc
Check it out It's tight.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Shit That Pisses ME OFF!!!!
So my buddy Justin Powers suggested that I write about shit that pisses me off. Or to be more specific shit that has pissed me off recently. So here goes....
As many of you know or don't know, I ride a motorcycle. I love my motorcycle! And I love riding. But the thing that I hate is morons who don't know how to drive!!!
I was riding to work today actually I was riding really relaxed, going no more than 70 miles per hour and just enjoying the ride. Now people who ride bikes I feel are more careful when driving and especially when riding. The reason being that when one rides you have to be aware of everything around you especially other drivers. So.... I was riding to work and as I was approaching an on-ramp I noticed this kid in a BMW speeding onto the freeway. I immediately knew that the idiot was going to do something stupid, so I moved further to the left in the lane that I was in. As soon as I did that the kid merged into my lane with me still in it!! He didn't look over to see if it was clear let alone signal!!! So I honk and swerve out of the way but a motorcycle horn is only so loud. Apparently he didn't hear me. And again the m***** f***** comes into my lane!!!!! So after laying on my horn a few times and accelerating past him, I let him know how I felt! The finger was all it took to convey my feelings. Needless to say it really pisses me off when damn kids who drive cars their mommy and daddy bought them, don't pay attention to the road and instead are trying to impress their friends or some chick, or just plain acting like damn idiots.
So if you take anything from this post it's, be careful and considerate of other people on the road. Pay attention to what you're doing! Don't think that it's ok to change CD's, dial your friends, or be sleepy while driving, if you have to do these things please be really careful. I mean it, cuz if you just happen to be the person who almost kills me on the freeway and I somehow find a way to get you out of your car, I will have no quarrels about beating the living shit out of you :-) I'm sure all bikers who are almost killed by idiots on the road feel the same way. So be safe for our sake and yours.
As many of you know or don't know, I ride a motorcycle. I love my motorcycle! And I love riding. But the thing that I hate is morons who don't know how to drive!!!
I was riding to work today actually I was riding really relaxed, going no more than 70 miles per hour and just enjoying the ride. Now people who ride bikes I feel are more careful when driving and especially when riding. The reason being that when one rides you have to be aware of everything around you especially other drivers. So.... I was riding to work and as I was approaching an on-ramp I noticed this kid in a BMW speeding onto the freeway. I immediately knew that the idiot was going to do something stupid, so I moved further to the left in the lane that I was in. As soon as I did that the kid merged into my lane with me still in it!! He didn't look over to see if it was clear let alone signal!!! So I honk and swerve out of the way but a motorcycle horn is only so loud. Apparently he didn't hear me. And again the m***** f***** comes into my lane!!!!! So after laying on my horn a few times and accelerating past him, I let him know how I felt! The finger was all it took to convey my feelings. Needless to say it really pisses me off when damn kids who drive cars their mommy and daddy bought them, don't pay attention to the road and instead are trying to impress their friends or some chick, or just plain acting like damn idiots.
So if you take anything from this post it's, be careful and considerate of other people on the road. Pay attention to what you're doing! Don't think that it's ok to change CD's, dial your friends, or be sleepy while driving, if you have to do these things please be really careful. I mean it, cuz if you just happen to be the person who almost kills me on the freeway and I somehow find a way to get you out of your car, I will have no quarrels about beating the living shit out of you :-) I'm sure all bikers who are almost killed by idiots on the road feel the same way. So be safe for our sake and yours.
Friday, February 10, 2006
My Take on Blogs
So since my last post I don't think anyone has visited my Blog. Actually no, not since my last post, I don't think anyone has ever visited my Blog. Is this a sign of things to come? I hope not. As I last finished posting I was thinking to myself, what is the meaning of a Blog? I mean why do people find the need to write things on a web page for others to read? Is it that they need someone to hopefully listen to them? A lack of friends? Maybe no one takes them seriously? And when one writes on a Blog, one writes with the hope that someone else will agree with or find some sort of connection with what one has written. In any case I have no idea why Blogs actually exist. We now have the internet to gather most if not all the information that we need. I mean there are forums where you can share ideas, there are thousands of news sources to chose from. Why go to someones blog?
Then I thought to myself........ wait for it........ wait for it........ maybe, just maybe, Blogs are a form of "MySpace" for people who consider themselves too smart for that particular group of people, or somehow better than them. Could that be true? If so does that mean I think I'm better than people on groups such as "MySpace"? I don't like to say that i'm better than anyone at least not publicly, and I think that would be true for most people. But then again actions speak louder than words. Whatever the case Blogs do exist and people tend to visit certain Blogs on a regular basis (apparently not mine though), and as such I will continue to fill my Blog with meaningless mumbo jumbo until I finally decide what the focus will be. Or until I find something interesting and actually worth while to write about. Any ideas?
Then I thought to myself........ wait for it........ wait for it........ maybe, just maybe, Blogs are a form of "MySpace" for people who consider themselves too smart for that particular group of people, or somehow better than them. Could that be true? If so does that mean I think I'm better than people on groups such as "MySpace"? I don't like to say that i'm better than anyone at least not publicly, and I think that would be true for most people. But then again actions speak louder than words. Whatever the case Blogs do exist and people tend to visit certain Blogs on a regular basis (apparently not mine though), and as such I will continue to fill my Blog with meaningless mumbo jumbo until I finally decide what the focus will be. Or until I find something interesting and actually worth while to write about. Any ideas?
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
I need some advice
Ok after posting my picture on-line, I have nothing..... nothing else to put up on this Blog. I wouldn't know where to begin. The one and only reason I now have a Blog is because I received a whole internet page to myself after signing my life away to post a comment on a friends Blog. That friend would be my Homey from the hood Justin Powers (sup G!).
So as a first post (the picture thing didn't count) I'd like to ask for some advice, what do you want to hear? And by "you" I mean anyone who happens to stumble upon this site by accident, or anyone I sucker into visiting my site. Actually the real reason I'm doing this is that Justin said if I post a Blog 'Bill Gates will give me a hundred dollars for every view that I get'. It's true. Apparently It happened to one of Justin's friends, cousins, uncle twice removed from Yemen I think. So that's why I'm here. Again any ideas would be appreciated. Good night and Good Luck (I stole that from a Movie).
So as a first post (the picture thing didn't count) I'd like to ask for some advice, what do you want to hear? And by "you" I mean anyone who happens to stumble upon this site by accident, or anyone I sucker into visiting my site. Actually the real reason I'm doing this is that Justin said if I post a Blog 'Bill Gates will give me a hundred dollars for every view that I get'. It's true. Apparently It happened to one of Justin's friends, cousins, uncle twice removed from Yemen I think. So that's why I'm here. Again any ideas would be appreciated. Good night and Good Luck (I stole that from a Movie).
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